


Pretend

by Genie_of_the_Fourth_Wall



Category: Kindergarten (Video Games 2017 2019)
Genre: Autistic Nugget, F/M, Future Fic, Mental Health Issues, Neurodivergent!Lily, Today was bad so I projected my feelings onto Lily, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 00:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20769260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie_of_the_Fourth_Wall/pseuds/Genie_of_the_Fourth_Wall
Summary: Lily feels different. At least some things never change.





	Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah this is a vent fic based on my experience with anxiety and also some other stuff that has yet to be diagnosed but I can feel is a thing. I guess this kinda fits in with the themes of Growing Up, but this was very spur of the moment so I’m not sure if I’ll add it to the series proper. Or maybe I’ll make a separate collection for my future fics, I dunno (I have some others planned). This one takes place in the college era. Lily, Nugget, and Billy all share an apartment because they are inseparable. I hope some people find comfort in this story, and if not, i hope you at least enjoy reading it.

“Yeah, she’s been in her room since she got home. She won’t talk to me,” Billy said.

Lily could hear him through the door. She hated when people talked like she wasn’t there. Who could blame her for that, after everything she had been through. Still, she knew she was being a little unfair to Billy. Despite the twin stereotype, they couldn’t read each other’s minds. They were as close as ever, but that didn’t mean they weren’t incredibly different. Billy had a natural charisma, the kind of personality that allowed him to strike up a conversation with complete strangers. Lily was... quiet. She always had been, but that wasn’t considered weird when you were a kid. It just meant you were shy. The type that stayed out of trouble. That thought brought the smallest smirk to Lily’s face. If there was one thing that was certain about her childhood, it was that she certainly had gotten herself into a lot of trouble.

The door creaked open, then closed. Lily looked up. Nugget made his way over to the bed Lily was curled up in, taking a seat next to her. He watched her, silently looking at her with concern in his eyes.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Lily muttered.

“Nugget won’t force you to speak of you don’t want to. Nugget just wants to make sure you’re doing okay.”

“I feel awful. Not like sick, but... you know.”

Nugget nodded. “Billy believes something happened. Is he correct?”

Lily sighed, pushing herself up into a sitting position. She rested her head on her knees. “Yeah. Remember that internship I was so excited about? Today was the first day and I... I just froze up.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I was stupid for thinking that just because I cared about it so much, things would be different. That I would actually be able to hold a conversation for once. I’m such an idiot.”

“Nugget does not think you are an idiot. You try so hard, Lily. That’s one of Nugget’s favorite things about you.”

Lily looked away. “You wouldn’t get it. You never tried to be normal. You’ve always just been... you. And it’s great, and I love you for it, but... it’s just not the same thing. I try so hard to be a functioning human being, and it almost works. I’ve learned how to pretend, how to automatically respond the way people expect me to. But I can’t pretend like I used to. I just feel so _different_, and then I fuck up like this and it just reminds me that I’m _not _normal, I’m just barely passing for it. I’m broken.”

Tears were running down her face at this point. Nugget gently reached towards her face, brushing them to the side. He rubbed small circles on her back as her breath hitched into sobs.

“You aren’t broken, Lily. You’re different, like Nugget is different, but nobody ever stopped to notice. Nobody ever stopped to help you the way you needed to be helped. And now you’ve exhausted yourself. It’s not your fault. Do not blame yourself.”

Nugget continued to murmur comforting words in Lily’s ear as she cried her eyes out. Fifteen minutes and a couple dozen tissues later, she found her voice again.

“Thank you, Nugget.”

“Of course, my pretty Lily.”

Lily gave Nugget a watery smile. “Hey, do you think you could stay with me for a little longer?”

“Of course. I’m sure friend Billy will not mind cooking dinner tonight.”


End file.
